Seasons

Well, recently, my life has consisted mainly of working, rehearsing and flying (which is SO fun!), sleeping and repeating that cycle over again.  I'm ready to have a life, but at the same time, I think staying busy is definitely a good thing.  Most of my friends are either married, have children, live far away or are engaged and I am really struggling with this.  I'm not struggling with the fact that people are married/have families and I'm not anywhere close to that stage in my life, but rather, struggling with all of us being so busy!  It is so hard to find a time to hang out that works for everyone.  Being recently out of a relationship, I have a lot of potential for free time, so for now, staying completely busy is best I suppose!  I just wish I had a little more time for friends!

On a more exciting note, I'm taking this season in my life as an opportunity to do something for myself; if I don't get a teaching job this fall, I'm going back to school!  Haven't decided where but it's going to be away from here; it'll be good for me, right?!  I'm looking at Lee University, Liberty University, Appalachian State, East Carolina or UNC Wilmington; all very random choices, but hey, why not?!  Look out, world!  Strong, independent, awesome woman coming through!

I've applied for a couple of jobs so we'll see what happens.  I'm not really sure what I want right now; part of me wants to take this opportunity to get out of Franklin and better educate myself, but at the same time a job would be really nice.  I'm just leaving it up to God because he knows what I'm supposed to be doing!!!  He is taking the wheel in everything in my life.  I don't know what's best for me, even though I always think I do.


Also, if you could just lift up a little prayer for me, as well as for an unspoken request, I would be really appreciative!

Love forever,

Abigail

A Graceful Response to my Life Right Now

"My Princess, 
YOU ARE FREE TO LOVE.  


I have set you free to love others, so don't let people who have caused you pain paralyze you from experiencing the joys of love.  I know there is always a risk when you give a piece of your heart away, but I've created you to enjoy the gift of special friendships.  Choose wisely the ones that you invest your time and energy in, and also give those you love the freedom to fail.  Remember that no one will love you as perfectly as I do.  If you let Me take the disappointments that come with relationships, you will be free to give and receive love unconditionally.  Remember, My princess, most people need love the most when they deserve it the least.  


Love, 


Your King who is Love"


"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)  


God knows exactly what I need to hear all the time.  Thanks to one of my wonderful teachers from middle school, for my evening devotional, I have been reading His Princess: Love Letters from Your King by Sherri Rose Shepherd.  I usually only read one love letter a night so that I can focus on the point(s) the letter is trying to make.  Tonight I was angry (like blood pressure through the roof angry, you've never seen me this angry, wanted to punch a hole in the wall this morning angry, HULK SMASH angry); this anger had been building inside of me for quite some time and especially today, so I decided I was going to read a few letters, just to soothe my spirit and maybe find some peace.  The first couple of love letters I read tonight were fine, letting me know that I have great treasures in Heaven, and that one day my sin-stained soul will be spotless...but then I decided I would read one more and the above devotional is what I happened upon.

My heart has been filled with so much pain, which often leads to anger and hatred, two feelings very uncommon for me, and I did not know how to deal with those feelings.  I was letting them consume me and I know that sometimes they will still threaten to do so.  Mean/hateful thoughts, deriving from the pain I am struggling with, have entered my mind so many times recently, but the above love letter and verse reminded me of how true Christian love works.

(When I refer to love in the following paragraphs, I am referring to a deeper love than romance--I am referring to the most wonderful, forgiving, deepest love of all--the love of Christ.)

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.  Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."  1 Corinthians 13: 1-8 (NIV)

"And now these three remain:  faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love."  1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV)  




Love is indispensable and it never fails, just like Jesus never fails us.  These past couple days I have not been practicing true Christian love.  The verse above says love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.  As a human-being, I am having a really hard time loving deeply; I just want to be angry, and harden my heart, keeping record of the wrongs you have committed against me.  I know that Jesus understands my hurt and disappointment; He knows exactly all my thoughts, but He is not satisfied with only knowing...He wants me to give Him my troubles and disappointments.  If I turn over my sorrows to Him, I am free to love those that have hurt me; I am free to forgive them like Jesus forgave all of my sins and yours; I am free to be soft and not become hardened or paralyzed by those who have caused me great sorrow.

Tonight I am laying my sorrows down at my Savior's feet; I'm trading them for the joy of the Lord.  I am still hurting and healing, but I am ridding myself of anger and putting on love.

I am loving you the most when you deserve it the least.

My thoughts, love and prayers ALWAYS,

Abigail

Anyway...

"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway."

~Attributed to Mother Teresa of Calcutta

First Real Day of Student Teaching

So, today I met my students that I will be teaching a little later on in the semester.  I have forgotten how fun high school was.  The kids are great and so is my cooperating teacher, Fritzie!  Before I drove over today I was extremely nervous, but after my first Q & A session (hot seat) with my first period class, my nerves were gone.  The schedule at Tuscola is a lot different than what FHS had.  It's a seven period day!  So many faces and names to put together (which I'm horrible at)!!!
This is what my day looks like, beginning at 8 and ending at 3:

• 1st:  Women's Chorale--a group of girls who all seem very diverse, but very nice overall.  
• 2nd: Summit--an auditioned group similar to B*Naturals.  The boys in there are a little crazy, but the girls seem to keep them pretty well in line.  A fun, but exhausting class.  
• 3rd/4th:  Lunch and planning--took a ten minute nap on my desk today, because I really didn't have anything to do yet and Fritzie told me I looked tired.  
• 5th:  Introduction to Chorus--This class is for kids who have never been involved in choir (or those who have a hole in their schedule).  It's a very diverse group, comprised of pretty much every high school stereotype.  
• 6th:  Concert Choir--The largest group I have...they talk almost constantly; I think this will probably be one of my most challenging, but rewarding groups.  
• 7th:  Chamber Choir--the other small auditioned group; I'm not really sure how to describe them yet, but they all seem like really focused, dedicated kids for the most part.  

Two of my funnier/ridiculous moments of the day happened in Concert Choir (go figure).  There's a set of twins and they look almost exactly alike even though they claim to be fraternal (I somehow doubt this).  During my Q & A/About Me session with their class the first question I get from "Twin A" is "Do you like cheese?"  I really didn't know how I looked at him but I'm pretty sure I gave him this look like "Are you seriously asking me this question?"  and then I just answered yes and moved on.  A little bit later his brother asked me "Do you shuffle?"  Luckily I was familiar with this and said "Everyday." I got a laugh out of all the students then which made me feel pretty good...and not so old.  If you're not familiar with why that was funny then just watch this video:  http://youtu.be/KQ6zr6kCPj8

I also met the vice president/future president of the Harry Potter Club at Tuscola...Rachel, she's got nothing on you, babe.  

The most boring part of my day consisted of spending three hours flipping through two old-fashioned card catalog boxes containing a card for every piece of music in the music library at Tuscola...yay technology.  But hey, at least they have a pretty big library to choose from.  :D  

So, basically, that was my first day in a nutshell.  I'll keep you updated as things happen and this will be a great way for me to keep a sort of journal since I have to do that anyway! 

Bedtime! 5:30 comes early. Gross!  

-Abigail